talk-elves.sh (2069B)
1 specific_talk_elves() { 2 item="$1" 3 4 case "$item" in 5 Google_Ad_coupons) 6 cat <<EOM 7 8 "We have been used by Google for such a long time. Now we will strike back." 9 10 The elves perform their magic and a gangbang commences... 11 12 EOM 13 14 if [ -f "$hipsters/obese/.takingashit" ]; then 15 cat <<EOM 16 Everyone is sucking and fucking. The two bearded hipsters from the 17 balcony come in and start sucking eachother's dicks. 18 EOM 19 else 20 cat <<EOM 21 Everyone is sucking and fucking. The obese spaniard takes a shit in the 22 Macbook hipster's mouth. The two bearded hipsters from the balcony come 23 in and start sucking eachother's dicks. 24 EOM 25 fi 26 27 cat <<EOM 28 29 The party host jumps on the table and starts pissing on everyone. 30 31 A dog comes into the room and starts fucking one of the girls. 32 33 The Christians get naked and masturbase furiously. 34 35 Your friend follows the Code of Conduct precisely. 36 EOM 37 38 if [ -f "$hipsters/obese/.takingashit" ]; then 39 _msg "The Macbook hipster fills all of his holes with black dildos." 40 else 41 _msg "The Macbook hipster bends over the sink and gets fucked by the fat spaniard." 42 fi 43 44 cat <<EOM 45 46 In the midst of all the fucking and sucking, the elves leave their cheese 47 on the table. 48 49 Once done, everyone pretends like this has never happened. 50 EOM 51 52 if [ -f "$inventory/.isfrench" ]; 53 then 54 _msg " 55 The elves seem to like your French accent and know what you 56 like. They put the cheese directly into your pocket." 57 fi 58 59 rm -f "$inventory/Google_Ad_coupons" 60 rm -f "$kitchen/sink/.notyet" 61 allaround="$inventory 62 $hipsters/coffeetable 63 $books 64 $kitchen/sink 65 $kitchen/cupboard 66 $kitchen/table 67 $fridge 68 $bedroom1 69 $bedroom2" 70 for i in $allaround ; do 71 printf 1 > "$i/Used_condom" 72 done 73 allaround="$books 74 $hipsters/coffeetable 75 $fridge 76 $bedroom1 77 $bedroom2" 78 for i in $allaround ; do 79 printf 1 > "$i/Black_dildo" 80 done 81 printf 1 > "$inventory/.orgyhappened" 82 if [ -f "$inventory/.isfrench" ]; then 83 printf 1 > "$inventory/Cheese" 84 else 85 printf 1 > "$kitchen/table/Cheese" 86 fi 87 ;; 88 esac 89 }